The Power of Tantra on old taboos

by Fabi March 06 | 2013

The Power of Tantra on old taboos

Dear souls,

Sometimes I think about how my life was before I encountered Tantra. What did my pleasures and my sexual life really amount to before I knew about these ancient teachings? I think about how Tantra has transformed and liberated me.

I think that most of the time we are trying be completely confident and to give the impression to our partner that we know what we are doing. We move as fast as we can. We think we have everything completely under our control.

I assure you that it is normal for us NOT to know. Often we just don't know what to do or how to act. How many times have you looked at a vulva or a penis and not known what to do? What does she, or he, like? What are their most sensitive and emotional places? Sometimes we just don't know. Maybe nobody has talked to us about matters like this. Our culture is just not used to talking about sexual issues when we are teenagers or at any other age. Our society has so many taboos about enjoying natural pleasure.

Good sex is the key to good relationships. What happens to us if we do not explore new experiences? It is like always eating fast food and not knowing how to appreciate an exquisite meal. Maybe our palates need practice to become more sensitive. I like fast food too but I also enjoy having the experience of a whole range of new and different food sensations. In the same way, you can be a master chef in your own sexual “kitchen”!

Before Tantra, I thought that I understood sex. When Tantra became part of my life I came to understand that there was much more to sexual activity and sexual maladjustments. There is so much to explore. How many times do we have sex like robots? We are not truly with our partner because we are thinking about something else. It may be football, baseball, work or what we have forgotten to buy. With Tantra we learn how to be present in that particular moment which we are sharing with our partner. We are consciously there.

Tell me - how many times are we anxious about the expression on our partner’s face during sex? How many times have we wanted to know if our partner is really enjoying it? Or to know if our partner is really there with us? How many times do we mean to open our eyes but then we forget to look deeply into the eyes of our partner? Or when we do it, we feel embarrassed? It is strange because we often say that the eyes are the windows of the soul. It is easier to share our body. We don't trust that person with our emotions, thoughts and feelings.

Eye-gazing is a sensuous form of intimacy. It builds trust between partners and brings them closer together emotionally and spiritually. You don't have to guess what your partner is feeling. You are just with them in the feeling! It is ONE-NESS.

Through Tantra I have learned that is not forbidden to spread love or to eat a chocolate and enjoy it. There are no barriers or rules when two adults meet to share pleasure, intimacy and love. We are not performers as in porno movies. We don't have to pretend anything or expect anything. We are not there to compare or to be compared. We need not measure the time or quantify the pleasure!

It is all so simple really. We are beautiful and sensitive beings. We experience our sexuality in the whole of our body and mind. Although Tantra can be extremely stimulating, the purpose is not primarily to bring our partner to orgasm. Rather, it is to relax both the giver and the receiver and to bring emotions to the surface. The experiences and feelings that your partner may have during your meeting can be very varied. They may even include anger, sadness or indifference. Everything is possible and everything is allowed. Sex is not about focusing on a particular kind of feeling or fulfilling a specific expectation. The idea is simply to observe and to experience. As you learn, your sex life will be greatly enriched and you will find out a great deal about sexuality.

It has helped me in my personal life. Now I am teaching, working and sharing Tantra with you!

Consult me. You can ask me all you want to know about anything at all of this kind. This is even more true if it is something that you do not feel able to confide to anyone else.

I'm here for you: or you can visit me personally, make a reservation to learn with me, here:

Fabi Jaya

Tantric Therapist and Counsellor
Certified Massage Therapist
Sexual healer
Tantra training in this ancient Indian philosophy for couples and individuals

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