If only parents would teach kids about real love, instead of dealing with their own troubles and struggling to express unconditional love towards their children and each other. If only the Internet would show us how to talk openly and touch each other properly, instead of meaningless hardcore porn with the main goal of penetration. Then we would have such a different idea of what normal is.

For many people penetration is the goal. But is that what we really want? What if what we consider as normal is only what most people usually do, and there is much more healthy and fulfilling way?

Once a person feels how it is to be completely present in any intimate meeting (and feels two minds open wide), it’s so intensely awesome it may even become a little bit frightening. That meeting can be very physical, penetration included, and highly energized. But also it can be not physical at all. Where you have a deep connection through the eyes, honestly sharing all your emotions with your partner. After this experience you start to change your mind and attitude towards sex.

Let’s be clear, I’m not saying I don’t like sex. I’m saying the foundation should be a loving connection. That connection is like a full body heat that appears and warms up my head as well as all parts of my body. That universal trust and love is penetrating my body. Tears appear in my eyes, even if I don’t feel sad. It’s just my soul that needs a little cleansing and it happens to me via tears. My body trembles all over and I long to share more of my essence. You suddenly feel complete and high.

These are some of the states that people may feel when they touch something deep inside. The only way to connect with someone is first to connect with yourself, that’s why it can be scary. You probably know this situation from your life, like when you meet someone whom you can be open with and it gets intense. Your heart is opening and you feel in love. It may come in up to a point and then you take a step back and shut down again. That’s the fear of our inner demons. We protect ourselves so we don’t have to meet them.

It is in our depths where the angels and demons reside. As we dive there we can choose to meet them and discover what they are like, because Jing and Jang, our two different poles, will always be there. And the demon is not always as scary as you imagine him. When you have the courage to face the dark side you’re soon rewarded by meeting the light parts of yourself.

I feel any intimate meeting is like a dance, I’m listening to my body, to my feelings and opening up to be aware of anything that’s real for me at the present moment.

When in a state of full awareness I can share with my intimate partner things I’m willing to share. Instead of saying ‘give me more’, I can say ‘thank you for what you’re sharing with me’ – that’s already the big gift. It can be less than we want but that’s the risk. It’s about letting go of any agenda or plan and simply being in the reality of the moment. And receiving the best we’re able to.

And at other times you may get much more than you expected, finding that beautiful place where you can both meet. And it’s like suddenly there is only one melody, not two any more, for as long you allow it last.

This is encouragement for you to find out what is natural for you. What is your way to meet someone? Are there any patterns to be changed? If you want to, please feel free to share your personal experiences in the comments.

Tantra is one of the ways to learn more about this topic. If you are interested about the sessions we offer visit please our menu at hegre.com/tantra

Do you have positive habits that contribute to your good health and comfort? Or are the things you do more or less done unconsciously, and perhaps you think are not ideal? Think for a second about what habits make up your life. Be honest with yourself. We are human and each one of us has vices. I don’t judge because I have vices too.

But I would like to focus on the things that make you feel good and contribute to your better health – the things that lift you up when you feel low. There is actually a deeper meaning to the phrase ‘feeling low’. It means low energy, a slow vibration. Something unpleasant happens during the day and you may feel like it took all your energy. In fact, that something is just slowing down your vibrations and you can choose to raise them up again. You can consciously let go of it and change the vibes.

That’s why I call it a ritual. Anything we do with awareness can be considered as a ritual, or a meditation if you like. Ideally, we have a few of those that we do every day and it prevents us from encountering difficult situations, or facing them more easily. Please note: I don’t find smoking, over eating, taking drugs etc. as a ritual, I see these more as an escape than anything else.

So what can it be? First of all I think about moving the body according to your preference. There are many other factors that influence our mood a lot; like eating patterns, the people you meet, the music you listen to, your surroundings, your medical conditions, your job and so on.

You may find something that could be replaced and improved. You can easily uncover the habits that don’t serve you well. And most probably you know what they are.

And then it is about finding something that you like, something that comforts and indulges you. It has to be something that comes out of your being and brings a smile to your face again. Than you will feel high on life.

Once you find your thing, you’ll know that your emotions are not necessarily your boss and that you’re not committed to feeling low for the rest of the day.
In other words: hold the rudder and go where you want. Replace those old bad habits with new, fresh ones.

I recommend starting with little things, before you quit your job for example. It could be a nice long walk in nature, creating space for your favorite activities, calling friends more often, eating healthier food, drawing, singing, receiving or giving massages, spending more time with your children and so on.

Elevate this routine into a beautiful ritual or meditation. At the beginning choose just one thing and gradually you can add new ones. Do it as often as you want to and make sure you’re conscious when doing it. With your awareness you send love at the same time and the love you give will return back to you.

I hope this will inspire you. And if you have any related comments or questions, please do leave a comment.

As I experience and become more and more aware of this fact, I feel that how you play on your stage is the key to an easier life. If you’re on the stage you have to play well, by that I mean to be completely honest, real and alive. Only a real actor is a good actor. On the stage there is no fear of the future there is just the present.

And you can enjoy any role; you can be the crazy or serious person, gentle or soft, the boss or the servant, the mother, the husband, the teacher or anything else. And although you’re playing different roles, at some point you realise it’s not a fake you, these characteristics are a part of you. The role you’re playing at this time is just an aspect of your personality, the one you want to be seen at the moment.

People often identify themselves as if they have just a single role for their life. But the role you play can change during your life, even during a single day. And it’s boring to just believe and fixate on one role.

It becomes good fun once you start to notice what your role is in any new situation. Especially if you surrender to it and fully accept it. For example, if you’re able to play the perfect servant, you know how it feels and the next time you can be the perfect boss because of your experience as the servant.

The thing is if you do not accept your role and you hate it, you can never move on. You can never step out of it.

One step can be: do not take yourself too seriously! Feel like you’re on the stage. Notice how you’re feeling about the role you are in. And if you don’t like it, look at it closer. What is the reason you don’t feel comfortable with it. And always remember to breath!

The next step may sound crazy but there is no other way: you have to fall in love with it. That means full acceptance that is love only. And then the fun starts; you can freely step in and out of anything you want. That is an incredible feeling of freedom.

So what are the steps?

1. Dont take anything too seriously. Life keeps changing and this moment will pass sooner or later. Try to look at the situation from above, like you’re looking down at the theatre as the director, while at the same time you are involved on the stage.

2. Realise this is just a role. You are not the role. For example, maybe now you’re the mother of the family, taking care of children, cooking and cleaning. And then from 6pm you’re going to switch to sexy, passionate lady, dressed up to have a perfect date with your husband. We have to put some spice into it and become alive in the role!

3. Fall in love with the role. Love is acceptance! Breath deeply to the belly, noticing what it is that you don’t like. Then find the courage to accept it.

I hope this approach will be an inspiration for you. And my last suggestion is to not expect miracles right away. As with any self-development exercise, it takes practice. Be patient. And keep breathing :)

If there is anything you’re wondering about please don’t hesitate to leave a comment.

Bara